YOU TALK FUNNY

Thanks flickr!

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 23:11:35 -0800

What's Your One True Sandwish

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 18:58:00 -0800

I invented a new word today: Sandwish.

Like at this moment, my sandwish is avocado and tomato on pumpernickle bread.

Other new idea: you know how we’re always discussing which beauty school is the best and stuff? We should start calling the ones that aren’t that great, “pretty schools.”

Because of my new favorite TV show Glee, I been thinking about...

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 23:38:17 -0800

Because of my new favorite TV show Glee, I been thinking about gravity lately. I’ve come to a conclusion:

GIVE GRAVITY A BREAK

Why’s everyone always trying to defy gravity? Like it’s the damn queen of England. Gravity is just trying to be itself, it didn’t ask for any of this. I’m thinking maybe it’s just because they call it “the Law of Gravity,” maybe that’s why peeps feel the need to defy it. I don’t know.

Look, without gravity, we’d be totally screwed! We’d be burning up, in the middle of nowheresky! So, big ups to gravity.

I like when people say, “hey stranger” or some...

Sat, 05 Dec 2009 19:01:17 -0800

I like when people say, “hey stranger” or some similar saying. It’s like a term of endearment but not really because it’s definitely not like “hey sugar” or “honeybuns” or something. It’s just like, “hey, I missed you. I wish we’d see eachother more regularly.” That’s just nice.

To further clarify, I present Laundry Day Fig.

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 21:21:16 -0800

To further clarify, I present Laundry Day Fig.

Laundry Day Megan

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 21:15:00 -0800

This is my new term I invented, it’s kind of an alter-ego: it’s your laundry day self. The bummy, I have to leave my house but refuse to shower side of yourself that occasionally surfaces.

I started saying this after a few interactions with my [JUNKIE] neighbor who I think thinks I’m two different people. I’d seen him plenty of times with Figaro, to the point where he noticed Fig got a haircut one day. Then I’d also see this neighbor sometimes when I was going out on the town, sans Figaro (it does happen) and we’d say, “hi” aswell. But then one day I was going out on the town with Figaro and we ran into this neighbor at the corner store. I said, “hi” and the guys was like, “oh! I didn’t know you had a dog!” I was like, “say whaaa?”

My only conclusion is that he thinks party time Megan and laundry day Megan are two different people!

Then the phrase was solidified when I said it to my friend @hilldawgg because I kept seeing this guy around my neighborhood who looked like a friend of hers. The thing was, her friend is a very stylish type of guy but the guy I kept seeing was more like wearing basketball shorts and stuff…like what you might wear if it’s laundry day! So I asked her if her friend lived near me, turns out he doesn’t. So now there is a laundry day version of her friend running willy nilly through the streets.

Feel free to pass this on and talk about everybody’s laundry day selves.

Call it a vast linguistic conspiracy: proponents of the major...

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 08:35:22 -0800

Call it a vast linguistic conspiracy: proponents of the major conspiracy theories of the day — the truthers, the birthers, the deathers — share a suffix that makes them all sound like whackdoodles. “It looks like conspiracy theorists might acquire a permanent suffix in -er, just like political scandals now have a permanent suffix in -gate,” Victor Steinbok, a frequent contributor to the American Dialect Society’s online discussion board, observed recently in that forum. But unlike -gate, which merely names a scandal, he later noted, -er “makes fun of the participant” as an obsessive, “almost foaming at the mouth” advocate of a fringe political belief.

I won’t make fun of you if you want to be a Rascaler.

RIP homeboy, RIP.

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 08:27:18 -0800

RIP homeboy, RIP.

What’s done cannot be undone,” moaned Lady Macbeth in her...

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 08:24:45 -0800

What’s done cannot be undone,” moaned Lady Macbeth in her famous sleepwalking scene. If she woke up in the 21st century, she would be pleased to discover that whatever can be done can be undone, too.

A word that means the opposite of another is an antonym; a word...

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 08:23:15 -0800

A word that means the opposite of another is an antonym; a word that looks as if it means one thing but means quite another could be called a phantonym, and warrants wariness.

Since I brought up the On Language header images, let’s...

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 08:20:46 -0800

Since I brought up the On Language header images, let’s post a few of the latest. Click through to the articles.

Funny:

Those who have pet peeves about language have chosen their domain of umbrage well, since it is inevitable that people will continue to make errors in speech and writing, and so there will always be something to be offended by, which can be very comforting.

From On Language: The Cadillac division of General Motors has...

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 01:50:00 -0800

From On Language:

The Cadillac division of General Motors has seen better days, with woeful sales figures even compared with those of other brands in the slumping luxury-car market. Yet the name Cadillac is thriving, at least on Capitol Hill. A centerpiece of legislation seeking to rein in health care costs is a tax on “Cadillac plans,” the favored shorthand for high-cost insurance policies. At the very high end are “gold-plated Cadillac plans,” or even “super-gold-plated Cadillac plans,” to use President Obama’s turn of phrase. How has the Cadillac brand survived as a stand-in for luxury, even as the cars themselves have lost much of their cachet?

This is not the original image they included. You know how I love their header pics but this time it was B-O-R-I-N-G.

New idea: I’m going to start refering to cars as “the Cadillac of cars.” It’s going to be great.

listening to "William De Vaughan - Be Thankful For What You Got"

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 01:46:31 -0800

listening to "William De Vaughan - Be Thankful For What You Got":

Though you may not drive a great big Cadillac…

Guest Post by My Pops. Go Pops, Go!

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 00:12:00 -0800

In a recent article in the Guardian Weekly, Alda Sigmundsdottir (love the name) writes about the closing of the only McDonald’s in Iceland (“We won’t miss Ronald”, GW 11/6/09). She writes that the very first McDonald’s hamburger there was “snarfed down” by the then-prime minister, who apparently gets a lot of the blame for Iceland’s recent economic problems. Some commentators would see it as fitting, therefore, if the same fellow were to “scoff down” the last McDonald’s burger to mark an end to an era many Icelanders would like to forget.

I am happy to know that there is at least one country that is McDonald’s-free, but I am also intrigued with these slang terms for eating. In college in the early 60’s (yes, I am old), we would talk of “scarfing down” a meal. Checking freedictionary.com, I find that “scarf”, “snarf” and “scoff” are all listed as slang for eating food quickly and voraciously. ”Scoff” and “scarf” can be used as nouns meaning “food”, as in “This scarf/scoff is awful!”, but “snarf” is a verb only. While “scarf” and “scoff” have non-slang uses, “snarf” is slang all the way - it’s only alternate usage is as a replacement for “steal”. Who knew?

Yay for my Dad! Good to know he’s doing something with his brain other than torment my mom.

This is a picture of my mom and dad. I love this picture! So I included here. Because here at youtalkfunny, I make the rules. In your FACE, authority!

As for the unfunny joke about my dad tormenting my mom, I know it’s not that funny but I thought it would totally make my parents laugh.

Shweet. robot-heart: Unfriend (via Hollis Brown Thornton)

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 10:22:33 -0800

Shweet.

robot-heart:

Unfriend (via Hollis Brown Thornton)

"Why is nonetheless one word but superdopeawesome isn’t? Fascism!"

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 13:54:27 -0800

“Why is nonetheless one word but superdopeawesome isn’t? Fascism!”

- I just quoted myself. I’m that awesome.

I should be keeping better track of T-rex—he’s a...

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 01:24:22 -0800

I should be keeping better track of T-rex—he’s a genius! Btw, everyone knows I love to say “jerks” but I also have been really into “wacky” lately. ‘Cause stuff is all wacky all the time!

Another good thing to note about this comic is the usage of “totes” which I’ve also been toying with lately though it may always be an ironic, I-think-I’m-funny sort of way. My pal Hillary likes to say it. I can’t tell if she’s being serious but I’m guessing not really. But I kind of like totes because it’s kind of like the equivalent of “SO TOTALLY!!!” Or I guess more like saying “totally” but with the subtext that whatever you’re refering to is or would be widely excepted as totally true. It’s like “without a doubt” I guess. Anyway… I don’t know where I was going with this. LATER JERKS!

Learning the facts of life and puns.

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 23:16:05 -0800

Learning the facts of life and puns.

I think it’s a little early, considering I could totally...

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 11:40:29 -0800

I think it’s a little early, considering I could totally say something awesome in December. But the man is begging! So click through and send him your fav quotes. Remember: only your totes fav.

The Kanye one has to make it, right? Riiiiight?

This is my new artform. Welcome.

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 23:21:29 -0800

This is my new artform. Welcome.