1 Sep 2010
How to argue like a dude, by Megan Rascal
Sometimes I’m a jerk and like to do stuff just to mess with people, well just to mess with men. One such thing is arguing like a guy. Men and women, girls and boys, we argue differently. Women say a lot of “in my opinion,” “well I think,” “I feel,” PISH! Men don’t need that crap! Because everything they say is right. Like men won’t be like, “I disagree,” they’ll be like, “you’re wrong.” I’ve never heard a girl just be like, “you’re wrong” when you’re having a conversation. I mean I’m talking during like conversations on totally subjective topics. I once heard a guy friend yell over and over again, “you’re wrong” to our friend who didn’t think a particular restaurant had the best hummus in the city.
I say I’ve never heard a girl flat out tell someone they are wrong but that’s not true because I totally like to do that now! HILARIOUS! It’s like anytime I’m having a discussion with a guy that turns into an argument where he starts to argue like a bro, I like to bring these tricks out. It’s so funny too because any time I’ve done this, they’ve never been like, “you can’t just say I’m wrong, this is a subjective issue!” And it’s because in their minds, it’s a perfectly reasonable rebuttal to someone’s opinion. Again: HILARIOUS!
So, good things to do to be more like a guy:
Say, “you’re wrong,” whenever you disagree with the person. This goes especially well when you don’t say why the person is wrong. What? You don’t need to explain yourself!
Another great thing is to state “facts” that you “read” in a “book.” And don’t try to remember the name of the book! What? You READ it! It MUST be true! This works great also because you can just make stuff up and say you read it. You don’t even have to read!
And still another really great thing to do is preface your next point by paraphrasing what you think the person is saying and then attack them from there. The really important part of this though is that you DO NOT LISTEN to what they are saying! This is very important. With this tactic, it’s best to reduce what they are saying to something pretty ridiculous and that you can then criticize very superficially. The more silly and unreasonable you paint their argument, the easier it is to then break down. They may fight you on this because you are saying they are saying things they aren’t saying… if this problem arises, the best thing to do is to do another condescending and reductive paraphrasing. Bada bing!
I’m considering making this a series so keep an eye out! But I hope you at least now feel like you can go out and take the world on—one bro at a time.
